Five Reasons You Should Stop People Pleasing (And Start Putting Yourself First)

Ah... people pleasing.

I feel like so many of us are guilty of this, including me.

Do you find that you are always putting others before yourself and your own time? Have you ever put your own wants and needs aside to please others?

Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying you should never help anyone and you should always say no, we aren't talking about being rude here. However, it is OK to say no sometimes and to be a little bit 'selfish' with your own time.

If you are like me, you might find that you fear judgement or upsetting people, so you say yes, you put them first, and you're once again finding yourself trying to please everyone but yourself.

I'm here to tell you, it's OK to stop. People pleasing is a tough job, and while it's great to help people and be a kind person, you need to draw yourself a line where you know it's time to stop.

Here are five reasons why you need to put yourself first and stop people pleasing, something that i've recently come to realise...

1. There are not enough hours in the day.

We are always complaining about how there is nowhere near enough time to do everything you want to do in one day, so how do you expect to get stuff done when you are constantly trying to please others?

Your time is precious, and if you have certain things you need to get done, try and understand that it's OK to say no. You have to have days where you can put your own to do lists above others, and if they care about you, they should understand that.

2. Not everyone is going to like you, and that's OK.

When we try and please others, it can be because we want people to like us and not judge us. I know I have done this a lot in the past, I wanted people to like me so I always did them favours, even if they didn't return them.

When you stop trying so hard to please certain people, you may just find out who your true friends are. As i've said, not everyone is going to like you and that's fine, so try not wasting your own time on people that may be taking advantage of your good nature.

3. You can start to feel resentful towards the people you are trying to please.

Take it from me, when you start to constantly try and please people and they don't return the favour, you can really start to resent them. You can feel like they are taking advantage of you, even if they have no idea themselves.

When you put yourself first, you will start to feel mutual respect as you won't be constantly trying to please them, just like they aren't doing for you (and that's OK).

4. You'll start to love yourself a bit more.

When you accept that you can't please everyone and that not everyone will like you, you can start to focus on the most important person, yourself.

It's easy to be scared of letting anyone down but you have to put yourself first, and when you do, you can do the things you want to do and enjoy; spend time with friends and family or take time to take care of yourself. Whatever you want to do with your time, just make sure you are putting yourself first!

5. It's your life; live it for you.

It's cliche, but it's true. We only have one life, why waste it trying to please everyone but yourself? If you can put yourself before others, you can start to focus on your own goals and aspirations.

Having goals and dreams keeps you motivated and passionate about life, focusing on helping others all the time won't help you achieve what you want to achieve.

It's your life and when you take care of yourself, it can be an absolutely great one.


Ps. (Yay, I'm back blogging and it feels so good. Hope you've all been well.)


  1. I love this post! I have written something similar but also touched upon creative anxiety and why it's important to do things for YOU!

  2. Absolutely love this post. We can't expect everyone to like us, but it is important to love yourself!
    Aleeha xXx

    1. Thank you so much for reading!! That's very true, we need to love ourselves. Jessica xxx

  3. I defiantly agree with this post. I had a baby 6 weeks ago and have barely spent a day just me and him. Everyone wants to meet up or see him and I just want a chilled day at home yet I’m finding it so hard to say no.

    I have started to become resentful of others and I then feel guilty because of this.

    Brilliant post
    Much love

    1. Aw yeah I can imagine that is very difficult! My advice would be to put yourself first and know that it's OK to spend time, just you and your baby! :) If people are true friends, they should completely understand. x

  4. I used to be so guilty of this and it was emotionally and mentally exhausting! It was a gradual process of training myself to stop being a people pleaser and to stop worrying if I'm okay in their books or not. I've come to find myself much more confident in my opinions, actions and in myself when I'm not trying to please someone so badly. The biggest thing I told myself was if someone genuinely likes you, they would like you even if you don't go out of your way to please them.

    1. You are right, it is so emotionally and mentally exhausting! I'm so glad that you are now more confident and have been able to stop worrying about what others think. :) I love your philosophy on people liking you, even if you dont go out of your way to please them - so true! Thank you so much for reading! x

  5. This definitely spoke volumes! We often live for other people instead of your ourselves. I had the self talk with myself on many occassions. Such an awesome and inspirational read!!! xoxo

    1. I'm so glad you liked this post! Yes, it's so true and we should start living for ourselves more :) Thank you for reading! x

  6. If only I would have known it sooner. That it is far better to actually give something from the heart rather than put your own needs aside again and again . I think it would have possibly prevented that burn out.
    I loved reading this hun. It's a very important topic to share. <3
    Rose -

  7. Thank you for sharing these tips, they are really helpful and I think I defo need to start following them.

    My recent post:


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